THE ILLUSIONIST REVIEW

The Illusionist on the surface is a period piece about a magician bucking the system in Austria. The movie also tries to be a love story and it also tries to be a mystery. Edward Norton (playing the title character) and Jessica Biels (playing Sophie the love interest) offer very decent performances but I really didn’t buy into their chemistry. Predictably Sophie is engaged to the Crown Prince Leopold (played by Rufus Sewell) and he has the Chief Inspector (the awesome Paul Giamatti) keep tabs on her whereabouts. I won’t spoil what happens next but just know that the outcome was predictable but the journey was fun. I think the movie tries really hard and mostly succeeds. C+

Hulk: HULK NOT SURE IF HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK REALLY LIKE THE NEAT-O MAGIC SHOWS BUT HULK NOT REALLY LIKE REST OF MOVIE. AFTER HULK LEFT MOVIE THERE WAS A MAN OUTSIDE DOING CRAZY MAGIC CARD TRICKS FOR MONEY. THE MAN YELLED OUT TO HULK AND SAID, “HEY, GREENIE, COME OVER HERE. I GOT A GAME FOR YOU TO TRY OUT”. HULK LOVE PLAYING GAMES. THE MAN THEN LAID OUT 3 CARDS ON A CARDBOARD BOX AND SHOWED HULK THE CARD WITH THE NUMBER 2 WITH SOME HEARTS ON IT. THE MAN THEN MOVED THE CARDS AROUND SO FAST HULK COULDN’T KEEP UP. THEN THE MAN TOLD HULK TO PICK THE CARD THAT WAS THE 2 OF HEARTS. SO HULK DID BUT THIS TIME THE CARD WAS A 10 WITH DIAMONDS. OH WELL. THEN THE MAN TOLD HULK THAT HULK NEEDED TO PAY $5. THE MAN THEN SAID “DOUBLE OR NOTHING TO PLAY AGAIN”. HULK NO UNDERSTAND BUT HULK AGREED. THE MAN SHOWED HULK THE 2 CARD WITH THE HEARTS AND THEN STARTED MOVING THE CARDS AROUND AGAIN. HULK CONCENTRATED REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD. THIS TIME HULK WAS GONNA WIN FOR SURE. BUT HULK PICKED THE 10 WITH DAIMAONDS AGAIN. FOR SOME REASON IN THE BACK OF HULK’S MIND HE HEARD A SOUND LIKE WHAAWHAUUUU. HULK THEN TURNED TO LEAVE AND THE MAN TOLD HULK”HEY BUDDY YOU NEED TO PAY ME $10”. HULK TOLD THE MAN “HULK NO HAVE MONEY. HULK’S RIPPED YET STYLISH PANTS ONLY HAVE POCKETS BIG ENOUGH FOR MOVIE AND POPCORN AND HULK HAS ALREADY SPENT THAT.” THE MAN THEN PULLED OUT A BASEBALL BAT AND STARTED HITTING HULK IN THE HEAD. HULK JUST LOOKED AT THE MAN FOR A FEW LONG SECONDS AND THEN HULK GRABBED THE MAN LIKE A FOOTBALL AND PUNTED HIM AS FAR AS HULK COULD. DON’T NOBODY HIT THE HULK IN THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT.

Bobo: What a crappy moobie. Bobo hate dis moobie. People just talk and talk. Even hot chickie from crappy god-fearin’ TV show was wasted. Usually moobies set back in the olden times have hot chickies that wear dresses that makes there boobies look like they are about to pop out and let Bobo get a peek of the nips but this time the chickies are more covered up than the dudes. Sure you get to see a pretty face but a pretty face is only good for target practice for Bobo’s love cannon.