Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest - This is an interesting film in the fact that I feel that everything was done right but only deserves an average grade. The special effects were top notch. It Rivals just about everything seen before on screen. Davey Jones is so lifelike and fluid. I would have expected he was made up of part human, part animatronics, part makeup and part CGI. Nope its just a human and CGI. The CGI work is hands down the best I’ve ever seen and that’s including the amazing LOTR films. The Flying Dutchman, the crew, the Craken all of it looks terrific. This movie is worth seeing for the special effects alone. Without going into spoiler territory the plot is simple and straightforward. Its easy to follow and makes sense. Essentially everyone has an agenda and will do just about anything to achieve it. The acting is decent. Depp is good as expected but he’s not as terrific as he was in the original. He’s entertaining, funny, dastardly, and is everything Captain Jack Sparrow should be. Orlando Bloom on the other hand just doesn’t work. It’s no secret that I really don’t care for Orlando Bloom. Most of his scenes are adequate, a few are just plain bad, and only his action sequences stand out as being good. Keira Knightley is scorching hot (even though I agree with Bobo in wondering where her boobage went between movies) but her storyline doesn’t get going until halfway into the movie. When it does she’s very strong on screen. Just about all the supporting cast members from the original are back and all do a decent job. Even as I type this I don’t know why I’m giving this movie an average score. Maybe the newness and the originality of the first one have worn off on me. Maybe it’s my general dislike of Orlando Bloom. Either way I walked out of this movie entertained but only mildly. Everything is good not great with the exception of the terrific CGI work. I really don’t know what I was expecting with this flick. Maybe the third film will make me appreciate this one more. This movie does everything right in all the right places but still falls a bit short. C+
Hulk: HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK NO UNDERSTAND A LOT OF MOVIE BUT HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK ONLY KNOW THAT EDWARD SCISSORHAND MAN WANTED A KEY AND HE CARRIED A JAR FULL OF DIRT. EDWARD SCISSORHAND MAN WAS BETTER IN FIRST MOVIE BUT HE’S STILL PRETTY GOOD IN THIS MOVIE. ELF MAN MAKE HULK BORED. HULK WISH ELF MAN NOT IN MOVIE. HULK WISH ELF MAN WOULD GO BACK TO HAIRYFOOTED LITTLE FOLKS RING MOVIES CAUSE ELF MAN SUCKS IN EVERYTHING BUT HAIRYFOOTED LITTLE FOLKS RING MOVIES. SOCCER LADY IS PRETTY HERE BUT SHE’S SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME DRESSED AS A BOY. HULK LIKE TO PLAY DRESS UP TOO BUT HULK WOULD NEVER DO THAT WHEN HULK WAS IN A MOVIE. HULK HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO DO THAT LATER. HULK LOVES TO PLAY DRESS UP AND PUT PANTYHOSE ON. PANTYHOSE MAKE HULK’S LEGS LOOK PRETTY.
Bobo loved dis moobie. *Mike here, Bobo’s reviews’ tend to be a bit spoiler filled and his review is all over the place so I’ll be “whiting out so to speak a lot of his spoilers”. If you want to read them just highlight the text with your mouse*. Bobo love hot chickie momma even though she has the boobs of a 10 year old. How is it hot chickie momma’s boobs look smaller now than other moobie? Bobo wonder if she got that reducto surgery thing people get. Bobo still don’t understand why hot chickie mommas get that surgery. If Bobo had big boobies Bobo wouldn’t be able to leave the house. Bobo would just spend all day looking at and touching Bobo’s hot sexy boobies. Bobo got freaked the f**k out when he first saw octopus face man. What’s up with folks having starfishes and jagged bits all over themselves or folks that are half shark? Bobo loved that starfishie mens came out of the walls of the ship. What’s up with the folks that eat folks not being nekkid? Or at least the chickies that eat folks being nekkid cause Bobo don’t give a flip about nekkid dudes that eat folks. Bobo was hoping to see some saggy cannibal boobies. Boobies are like pizza even if its bad its still pretty good. Clean the mud and muck off of swamp lady and she would be pretty frickin’ hot. Bobo still don’t understand why she gave dudeman a jar full of dirt. Bobo wishes elf dude from trekkie rings movie would just die. He just whines and whines and is the worst part of whole moobie. Almost make Bobo not like moobie. Bobo loved seeing fight on giant wheel on island. Bobo jumped behind Bobo’s chair when big giant crazy octopus thing would attack the boats. Little boy sitting behind Bobo made fan of Bobo but Bobo got even with little boy. When little boy got up to go pee-pee Bobo left a little turd nugget in little boy’s milk dud box. This made Bobo’s day.
