THE MATADOR REVIEW

THE MATADOR - I knew very little about The Matador going into the theater. I knew it starred Greg Kinnear and Pierce Brosnan. Greg Kinnear was good as usual playing the straight man but Pierce Brosnan really stole the show for me. He has put the James Bond days completely behind him and made a character that is funny, charming, and pitiful all at the same time. I was pleasantly surprised by how good this movie was. It was smart, funny, and the acting was great. It did try to be a little too smart for its own good at times but that was very minimal. This film will definitely get overlooked by the masses and I'm really glad I wasn't one of them. B+

Hulk Review: HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK LOVE BUDDY MOVIE. HULK REMINDED OF TIME WHEN HULK JUMPED TO KANSAS CITY. HULK WAS SAD BECAUSE HULK HAD NO FRIENDS. HULK WALK STREETS ALL BY HULK SELF. HULK FIND BAR CALLED BUDDIES WITH SIGN OF TWO CLINKIN' BEER MUGS AND A RAINBOW OVERHEAD. SIGN MAKE HULK ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE. HULK GO IN BAR AND HULK MEET ALL KINDS OF NEW HULK FRIENDS. NEW HULK FRIENDS VERY FRIENDLY TO HULK. NEW HULK FRIENDS KEEP FEELING HULK'S MUSCLES AND SAYING HULK WAS SO STRONG. HULK THINK NEW HULK FRIENDS ARE RIGHT CAUSE HULK KNOW HULK IS STRONG. HULK LIKE BUDDIES RAINBOW CLINKING BEER BAR. HULK WILL DEFINITELY GO BACK.

Bobo Review: Bobo no like dis moobie. Bobo do look boobies in moobie. Moobie need more boobies. Moobie had too much talkin' and not enuff sexin'. Bobo's girlfriend same as moobie. Bobo girlfriend always runnin' her mouth when Bobo's girlfriend should be using her mouth for Bobo's banana. Bobo don't give a flyin' crap about what happened on Trading Spaces. Bobo don't even know what Trading Spaces is. Bobo thought he would like Trading Spouses until Bobo found out teevee show didn't involve sexin'. Why teevee want to get Bobo all excited for nothin'. Make Bobo throw teevee out the window. Now Bobo's girlfriend's mad at Bobo cause she has no teevee for watchin' Trading Spaces and Bobo have no teevee for watchin' Double Big Melons IV.

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION REVIEW

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION - Checked out this flick the other night. Let me start out with a bit of history. I watched the first Underworld film in its initial release in theaters. I thought it had a lot of promise but failed on many levels. It would have a moment or two of really cool followed by 10 minutes of utter crappola. It had all the elements to make a great sci-fi/fantasy/horror flick. It had a hot babe, vampires, werewolves, guns, gore, and a rock 'n roll soundtrack. This should have been great intead it was bogged down with plot holes and some really bad acting by some key characters (particularly Shane Brolly who played Kraven). I would give the original Underworld a C- grade at best. Now for the new film. The movie opens strong with some great action scenes and set designs. It falters a bit in the second act with some plot holes but then finishes decently and ties up a lot of loose ends. The action is really decent and the makeup/cgi is really great. There are some holes in the special effects and some continuity problems but overall I enjoyed the sequel much more than I liked the original. If you are a fan of the original you will definitely like this one, if you marginally liked the original then you will be pleasantly surprised, if you hated or had no want to see the first one then stay away because its more of the same. All in all its a fun, action packed, gore filled, pop-corn film. B-

Hulk Review: HULK NO SEE MOVIE. HULK EAT TOO MANY JELLY BEANS AND HULK HAVE TUMMY ACHE. HULK CRY AND HULK MISS HULK MOM.

Bobo's Review: Bobo love dis moobie. Bobo get to see boobies! Bobo love it when main vampire chickie get nekkid and hump queerboy but angry when she not show boobies. Bobo see other vampire boobies but still Bobo see boobies. Bobo want to be vampire/doggie monkey. Bobo live forever and have lots of sex with hot vampire chickies. It would be Bobo's luck that first hot vampire chickie Bobo have sex with have medievel STD and make Bobo's banana fall off. Bobo then have to live forever with no banana.

MICROCOSYM REVIEW

MICROCOSYM - Let me give a little background on this one. I've never been to a planetarium and watched a movie projected onto the domed ceiling. I thought I would give this one a try and see if its as cool as I'd hoped. Boy was I wrong. This movie was crappola thru and thru. This is a short film that's suppossed to simulate being shrunk down and take you on a virtual tour of the body. Its almost entirely cgi film that's no better than mid 90's pc graphics. The narrator was terrible and was just plain lame, lame, lame. I did enjoy some of the 3-d feel of the film but that wasn't enough to improve a terrible movie. D-

Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. IT SCARE POOP OUT OF HULK. HULK KNOWN FOR BEING BIGGEST AND STRONGEST. HULK NO LIKE BEING SMALL. HULK NO FEEL ANY DIFFERENT BUT HULK BE INSIDE PREGNANT LADY. HULK ALSO SCARED WHEN GREEN BOOGER THINGS CAME AT HULK. HULK RUN OUT OF THEATER. HULK THEN REALIZE DOOR MUST BE WHAT MAKE HULK SMALL. HULK BACK TO BEING BIGGEST AND STRONGEST AFTER HULK EXIT DOOR. HULK SMASH DOOR.

Bobo's Review. Bobo no like dis moobie. Bobo see manlady on chair with man doctor. Bobo get excited thinking Bobo will see porno. Instead Bobo get shrunk down and then Bobo be inside pregnant lady. No nekkid man lady. Dis mobie freaked Bobo the F**k out. Bobo puke on Old Man that smelled of feet that sat next to Bobo. Bobo not sure if smell or twists and turns make Bobo puke.

ROVING MARS REVIEW

Roving Mars - I checked out the new Imax film the other day. My Imax viewing experiences have been few but wonderous. The quality of the picture and sound are second only to Digital Projection. The scope of their films usually centers on educational documentaries and Roving Mars is no different. Its a relatively short film (40+ minute run time) about the research/development, eventual launch, and findings of the Mar's Rovers. The film successfully humanizes these two robots to the point that you start to really care about the little guys (one named Spirit and the other Opportunity). When they make a discovery you rejoice when the discussion of their impending "death" comes up you are saddened. I did really like this film but I did feel it dwelled a little too much (about half the film) on the human scientists. I wanted to see more footage of the rovers on mars and their discoveries. We're only treated with some stills of actual photos and alot of CGI of the rovers on Mars. I though it was a good Imax experience but not a great one. B-

Hulk Review: HULK NO KNOW IF HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK FALL ASLEEP IN MOVIE. HULK WAKE UP TO PUNY USHER MAN POKING HULK WITH FLASHLIGHT AND TELLING HULK TO LEAVE. PUNY USHER MAN TELL HULK THAT HULK FEET STINK. HULK CAN'T HELP IT THAT HULK'S FEET LANDED IN BIG PILE OF COW POOPOO WHEN HULK DO SUPER HULK JUMP.

Bobo Review: Bobo no like dis moobie. Mobie make Bobo think of Bobo's Great Uncle Mofo. Great Uncle Mofo was a strong smart monkey and he was such a ladies man. Great Uncle Mofo was captured one day by mens. Make Great Uncle Mofo learn all kinds of switches and doo hickeys. Last Bobo see Great Uncle Mofo he was on cover of Time magazine. Funny thing mens change Great Uncle Mofo's name to Ham.