SARAH SILVERMAN: JESUS IS MAGIC REVIEW

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic – A word of warning, this flick is not for everyone. If you are easily offended and are afraid to laugh at everything and everyone (including yourself) then go see something else. This film is made up of Silverman’s stand-up material and various musical numbers which are mostly obscene, definitely inventive, and always funny. She toys with race, sexuality, rape, 9/11, and even the holocaust. I’m amazed at how effortlessly she’s able to make these otherwise taboo subjects hilarious. My only complaint is with its running time of just barely over an hour. Its too short and it leaves you wanting more. B+

Hulk: HULK NO UNDERSTAND MOVIE. MOVIE CALLED JESUS IS MAGIC AND HULK’S MOM ALWAYS TOLD HULK THAT JESUS WAS MAGIC BUT THIS MOVIE IS JUST ABOUT A POTTIE MOUTHED GIRL TALKING AND TALKING AND SOMETIMES SINGING. HULK NO UNDERSTAND MOST OF WHAT WAS SAID OR SUNGDED BUT HULK LOVES THE SONGS ANYWAY. HULK WILL SING HULK’S FAVORITEST SONG FROM MOVIE – “HULK LOVE YOU MORE THAN BEARS LOVE HONEY/ HULK LOVE YOU MORE THAN JEWS LOVE MONEY/ HULK LOVE YOU MORE THAN ASIANS ARE GOOD AT MATH"

Bobo: Bobo really like dis moobie. First off it has hot chickie Sarah lady in every scene of the movie. Its got hot chickie Sarah lady making funny jokes. Most of jokes Bobo heard flew a bit over Bobo’s head but the ones Bobo got Bobo loved. Bobo laughed really hard when hot chickie Sarah lady made her poonanny sing songs. Bobo wonders if hot chickie Sarah lady will have her poonany sing to Bobo’s banana?

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING REVIEW

Thank You For Smoking – I really liked this flick but I can’t help but feel a little cheated by it. TYFS directed by Jason Reitman (son of Ivan) is the story of a tobacco lobbyist and the moral dilemmas that come with being a tobacco lobbyist. Aaron Eckhart plays lobbyist Nick Naylor with the wit and charm needed for the role. Watching Eckhart on screen is definitely the highlight of this movie. The audience can’t help but enjoy watching the silver tongued devil get away with murder over and over again unfortunately there isn’t enough of it. There’s a lot of great wit flying around in this movie but most of it is deflated due to already watching the trailer. *Spoiler Warning* In the end the character’s moral awakening hinders this smart film and makes it too clichéd and obvious *End Spoiler* The movie starts off strong and your carried quite well but in the end the movie pulls its punches when it could’ve/should’ve been going for a knockout punch. B

Hulk – HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. HULK DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT MEN WERE TALKING ABOUT. SOMETHING ABOUT SMOKING AND CHEESE KILLING PEOPLE. HULK FRIEND MARLBORO MAN TOLD HULK THAT SMOKING WAS A-OK AND WOULD HELP HULK GET THE LADIES. HULK TRY MARLBORO CIGARETTES ONCE AND THEY MAKE HULK COUGH AND COUGH. HULK INSTEAD DECIDE TO MAKE ON BRAND OF HULK CIGARETTES. HULK LIKE THESE MUCH BETTER.
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Bobo – Bobo hate this moobie. This moobie just had lots of boring talking and talking and nothing for Bobo to like ‘cept for Katie Holmes. That chickie is smokin’ hot. Moobies like this make Bobo not want to go to moobies anymore and focus on Bobo’s other passions in life…being a Gigolo, monkey kung fu, and…tap dancing. Yea you read that right tap dancing…if you have a problem with it Bobo will tap dance on your f**kin’ head so hard you will ….wish you didn’t have a head. Bobo get so flustered when people make fun of Bobo’s tap dancing abilities Bobo can’t think straight…..anyway moobie sucked but Katie Holmes is hot...too bad she don’t get nekkid in it.

UNITED 93 REVIEW

United 93 – I walked out of this film really unsure about my feelings about it. Not because its not good (heck I think it’s the best movie I’ve seen this year). Its taken me a few days to actually be able to put my thoughts on paper. I’m not really sure what I was expecting going in to this film. I couldn’t see how a film about the 9/11 hijackings could be made without picking sides or having some sort of agenda. I couldn’t imagine making a movie this soon afterwards without being exploitive. I wasn’t sure how the film was going to be sold, there are no movie stars, no big action sequences, its not terribly nostalgic (unless people like thinking about that day). The film pulls it all off and it succeeds in every way a film can. I’m not going to make this a political review I’m just going to review this work as a film only. The film is split between the ground crew and the passengers of United flight 93. This is genius, by spreading the attention out the tension mounts and you find yourself drawn in and emotionally connected with everyone involved. The passengers, the ground crew, the military, even the hijackers command your attention and your thoughts. You won’t know the names of any of the individuals in this film but their actions will be left with you for a long time. United 93 never offers an explanation as to why the individuals are doing what they are doing and besides a few individual prayers there aren’t any religious overtones. I was surprised at the level of violence and chaos that made up the third act but afterwards I reflected on how naïve I can be. This movie took me on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster by throwing me backwards in time to the morning of September 11 and washing me over with my own thoughts and memories of that day and all that have transpired afterwards. I’m not sure what I was expecting going into this film but what I was left with will stay with me for a long time. A+

Hulk – HULK NO SEE MOVIE. HULK HAVE CRAZY ADVENTURE INSTEAD. HULK WENT TO HULK’S FAVORITE THEATER WITH HULK NEIGHBOR FRIEND NAMED JACK. HULK BOUGHT JELLY BEANS, HULK SIZED POPCORN, HULK SIZED DRINK, AND 12 BOXES OF JUNIOR MINTS. HULK ATE ALL BEFORE THE START OF MOVIE. HULK TUMMY START TO RUMBLE AND HURT. HULK RUN TO BATHROOM WHEN HULK FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. HULK WAS IN THE BATHROOM FOR A LONG, LONG TIME. HULK REALLY, REALLY HAD TO DO NUMBER 2. HULK FINALLY FINISH AND HULK EVEN REMEMBERED TO WASH HULK’S HANDS. HULK MUST HAVE BEEN IN THE BATHROOM TOO LONG BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE COMING OUT OF THE THEATER. SOME OF THEM WERE UPSET WITH “HI, JACK-ERS”. HULK CONFUSED. HULK DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE TO BE MAD AT HULK SO HULK GO HOME AND LEAVE HULK NEIGHBOR FRIEND JACK AT THEATER. HULK DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT HULK HAD A FRIEND NAMED JACK AND THAT HULK SAID “HI” TO HIM EVERY DAY.

Bobo – Bobo no see this moobie. Bobo have no interested in seeing people in a plane. There’s only two moobies with folks in a plane that Bobo wants to see right now. One is Snakes on a Plane starring the often forgetful but still the baddest, blackest Mofo in all the universe Samul L. F**kin’ Jackson and the other is Debbie Does A Whole Bunch of Folks On A Plane IV (this is the one where Debbie does some dudes but a whole bunch of chicks). Now that’s a moobie worth Bobo's time.

UNKNOWN WHITE MALE REVIEW

Unknown White Male – I actually watched this film several weeks ago and I’m just now getting around to reviewing it. I find the subject matter completely fascinating but the overall editing of the film left me a bit cold. This documentary chronicles the life of thirty something Doug Bruce, a British expat former stockbroker, in New York. That sounds fine and dandy but it doesn’t sound like much of a movie. The kicker is on July 3, 2003 he opened his eyes on a train in Brooklyn with no idea who he was or any memory of his life at all. Director-narrator Rupert Murray, which happens to be a friend of Doug’s, films his journey of worldly and self discovery. I’m reminded of Charlie in “Flowers for Algernon” with Doug Bruce’s childlike approach to the world. I found his “first” experiences of snow and the ocean to be particularly touching. I do have a few problems with the editing and overall flow of the film. Lots of unnecessary quick edits and artsy fartsy touches detract from the overall presentation even though I’m sure its shooting for the opposite reaction. Another point of information that detracts from my overall enjoyment is there is speculation that the film is a complete hoax. That its too coincidental for it to be factual. Regardless I found myself totally engulfed with philosophical questions about the nature of man and how much a person’s memories make up who that person is. I could watch hours and hours of footage of this man’s journey and I’m intrigued of the outcome of his life. I hope a follow up documentary is made within the coming years. B+

Hulk: HULK NO ANSWER THIS PERSONAL AD. HULK NOT INTERESTED IN MEETING MEN TO LIE DOWN WITH HULK. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK HULK WOULD LIKE THIS? WHO GAVE YOU THAT IDEA? IT WAS FORMER HULK FRIEND THE THING, RIGHT? THE LAST TIME HULK ANSWERED PERSONAL AD WAS IN 1999. HULK WAS HAVING A PARTICULARLY BAD YEAR. HULK’S COMIC SALES WERE DOWN, HULK HAD TERRIBLE HULK-SIZED CASE OF CONSTIPATION, AND HULK WAS FEELING PARTICULARLY LONELY. SO UNDER THE ADVICE OF THEN HULK FRIEND THE THING HULK ANSWERED A PERSONAL AD THAT READ “SINGLE ORANGE ROCK-LIKE CREATURE OF PROMINENT 4 MEMBERED SUPER TEAM LOOKING FOR SPECIAL GAMMA IRRADIATED MUSCULAR CREATURE FOR HOT HOT LOVE….(*the Leader or Doc Samson need not reply*)”. HULK EXCITED. HULK ACTUALLY TOOK BATH AND PUT ON HULK’S BEST RIPPED PANTS AND WENT TO MEET “SINGLE ORANGE ROCK-LIKE CREATURE”. HULK SHOCKED WHEN HULK FIND OUT THAT THE “SINGLE ORANGE ROCK-LIKE CREATURE” WAS ACTUALLY THE THING. HULK GET SO MAD BUT ALSO HULK’S HEART BREAKDED. HULK COULD DO NOTHING BUT SULK AWAY AND CRY.

*comic book joke* either you get it or you don’t

Bobo: Bobo no watch this moobie. Moobie sounds pretty boring. Let’s see moobie about stoopid queerman that doesn’t know who he is…. If he doesn’t know who he is why would Bobo give a crap about who he is? Now if movie was about a nekkid hot chickie that doesn’t know who she is Bobo would be all over that like gonorrhea on a Thai hooker.