CLERKS 2 REVIEW

“Clerks” arguably Kevin Smith’s best and most critically loved film was something unique and breathed a bit of new life in cinema for me. Sure it’s full of dick and fart jokes but once you wade thru those (all the while laughing your ass off) you will find a really great movie. Twelve years and 5 movies later, Kevin Smith has unashamedly gone back to the well and made “Clerks II”. The gist is Dante and Randal are now in their thirties the Quik Stop has burned down and are forced to start working at a Mooby’s fast food restaurant. Dante’s about to move to Florida and get married leaving Randal alone in Jersey. With this flick you get the same hilarious dick and fart jokes and all the movie/comic book/geek talk but with a mature (somewhat) Smith back in control. The story has purpose and the guys are dealing with real issues of friendship, growing older, security, and relationships all through the guise of Transformer talk, racial slurs, and Buffalo Bill impersonations. The cast here is great. The additions of Rosario Dawson (Becky the clerks’ boss) and newcomer Travor Fehrman (Elias the teenaged virgin geek) are welcome and add a lot to the cast. The “clerks” have more people to play off of and most importantly it works. The dialogue is great and really shows why Smith is a decent writer. Most of the plot keeps chugging right along but it does slow down a bit at times when it focuses on Dante’s love triangle between his fiancé and Becky. Every time there would be a lull there would be 30 seconds of Jay and Silent Bob hitting me with a laugh-til-it-hurts moment which gets you right back into the movie. All and all this is a worthy addition to the Jersey ViewAskewniverse films…and this one even has donkey sex. Grade: B

Hulk Review: HULK NO UNDERSTAND MOVIE. HULK NO GET MOST OF THE JOKES IN MOVIE.HULK LIKE JEDI’S, HOBBITS, AND CHIN-CHUN-CHUNN-CHA ROBOT OPTIMUS PRIME. WHY CAN PEOPLE NOT LIKE ALL OF THEM? WHY DOES MOVIE START IN BLACK AND WHITE AND THEN GO TO COLOR? IS THIS THE SEQUEL TO THE WIZARD OF OZ? WHERE ARE THE FLYING MONKEYS? HULK NO UNDERSTAND WHAT A PORCH MONKEY IS. IS THAT A FLYING MONKEY WITH NO WINGS THAT LIVES ON A PORCH? WHAT DOES A BROKEN BOTTLE GOT TO DO WITH BLACK PEOPLE? WHAT IS THAT PERSON DOING TO THAT DONKEY? WHERE IS DOROTHY? HULK SO CONFUSED.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo love dis moobie. Bobo love the way people talk in dis moobie. The one thing Bobo not understand was why did stoopid people think that skinny blonde chickie was hot. That chickie was so ugly even Bobo won’t beat off to her. Becky Mexican chickie was way hotter. Bobo’s favorite part is watching that Becky Mexican hot chickie’s boobies bounce up and down while she dances. Bobo would like to see a moobie of just her boobies bouncing. Bobo could die happy then.