HULK AND BOBO INTERVIEW SAMUEL L JACKSON

HULK: HULK WANT TO THANK SAMUEL L JACKSON FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF BUSY SCHEDULE FROM TOURING WITH THE JACKSON 5 TO SPEAK WITH HULK. HOW IS HULK FRIEND TITO DOING ANYWAY?

Bobo: Bobo can’t believe Hulk is so stupid he doesn’t know that this is the baddest blackest MoFo in all the universe. You need to treat him with respect…and brush your teeth because Hulk’s breath smell like doo doo.

Samuel L Jackson: Normally, both of your sorry asses would be deader than f**kin’ fried chicken by now, but you happened to pull this sh*t while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you.

Bobo: You hear that Hulk? When Samuel L Jackson, the baddest blackest Mofo in all the universe, speaks you need to listen. Now make sure you ask important questions that are worthy of his greatness.

HULK: HULK HAVE FRIEND NAMED FAT ALBERT. DO YOU KNOW HIM?



Bobo: Sheesh!



Samuel L Jackson: I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat. He's got a weight problem. What's the nigger gonna do? He's Samoan.


Hulk: HULK NOT KNOW WHAT FISH THAT SWIM UP STREAM TO HAVE BABIES ONLY TO DIE HAVE TO DO WITH HULK FRIEND FAT ALBERT.


Bobo: Samuel L Jackson, the baddest, blackest MoFo in all the universe, didn’t say SALMON he said SAMOAN. As in someone from the islands of Samoa.

Samuel L Jackson: Check out the big brain on Brett!



Bobo: Bobo…not Brett but Samuel L Jackson, the baddest, blackest MoFo in all the universe can call Bobo Brett if he wants.

Hulk: HULK LIKE TO WORK OUT AND MAKE SURE HULK STAYS THE STRONGEST OF THEM ALL. HOW DO YOU THINK HULK FRIEND FAT ALBERT GET SO FAT?


Samuel L Jackson: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast!



Hulk: HULK LOVE TO EAT HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES AND MUFFINS WITH GRAVY. SOMETIMES WHEN HULK EATS TOO MANY MUFFINS THEY MAKE HULK’S BELLY HURT. HULK GET THE BEST MUFFINS AND GRAVY AT HASH ‘N EGGS RESTAURANT DOWN THE STREET?

Samuel L Jackson: And those are hash bars? Oh, man, I'm goin', that's all there is to it -- I'm f**kin' goin'.


Bobo: Bobo thinks Hulk should shut up so Bobo could ask some questions now. Bobo so lucky to finally get to meet Bobo’s favoritest person in the whole universe.

Samuel L Jackson: No, no, this wasn't luck. This was divine intervention. You know what divine intervention is Vincent?


Bobo: Bobo…not Vincent…Bobo would really rather you call Bobo Bobo or at least “Awesome Monkey Dude”…..


Samuel L Jackson: What?



Bobo: Oh nothing. So what is the one thing that Samuel L Jackson really loves to do?


Samuel L Jackson: Well, there's this passage I've memorized that sort of fits this occasion. "Ezekiel" 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed are they, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness, for they are truly their brothers' keepers and the finders of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"

Hulk: HULK THINK THAT’S A SCARY PASSAGE TO READ FROM THE BIBLE.



Bobo: Bobo agrees…Bobo not know what that has to do with question but it is scary.


Samuel L Jackson: If my answers frighten you Vincent, then you should cease asking scary questions.


Bobo: MY NAME IS BOBO….not VINCENT. Bobo is getting a little angry with Samuel L Jackson, that baddest, blackest, Mofo in all the universe, and his inability to remember Bobo’s name.

Samuel L Jackson: Oh, oh, you ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud-layin' motherf**ker, motherf**ker. I'm "SUPERFLY TNT", I'm "THE GUNS OF NAVARONE". We're f**kin’ switching. What country are you from?

Bobo: Well Bobo’s originally from Costa Rica but due to a nasty run-in with…


Samuel L Jackson: I'm the foot f**kin' master!



Bobo: What?



Samuel L Jackson: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?



Bobo: Well a little…



Samuel L Jackson: What country are you from?



Bobo: Like Bobo was saying before Bobo originally from Costa Rica.



Samuel L Jackson: Ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English?



Bobo: What?



Samuel L Jackson: English, motherf**ker! Do you speak it?



Bobo: Of course but what does that have to do with this interview. Bobo was just about to go into detail about Bobo’s father…


Samuel L Jackson: Does he look like a bitch?



Bobo: What?



Samuel L Jackson: Say "what" again! Say "what" again motherf**ker! I dare you! I double-dare you motherf**ker! Say "what" one more goddamn time!


Bobo: He's black.



Samuel L Jackson: Go on!



Bobo: He's bald.



Samuel L Jackson: Does he look like a bitch?



Bobo: Well maybe sometimes but that’s only when he would wear a dress and…



Samuel L Jackson: Does he LOOK like a bitch?!



Bobo: No!



Samuel L Jackson: Then why'd you try to f**k him like a bitch, Brett? Yes, you did Brett. Yes, you did. You tried to f**k him.


Bobo: BOBO DIDN’T AND BOBO’S NAME IS NOT BRETT… OR VINCENT…BOBO’S NAME IS BOBO!!!!


Samuel L Jackson: I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherf**kers get scared, that's when motherf**kers accidentally get shot. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here definitely doesn't want that.

Hulk: STOP! HULK JUST WANTS ALL TO GET ALONG. HULK HAVE GREAT IDEA. HULK WAS JUST SITTING HERE EATING HULK MUFFIN WHEN HULK HAVE WHAT ALCOHOLICS REFER TO AS A MOMENT OF CLARITY. HULK LOVE TO SING, JACKSON MAN IS NO NEWBIE TO MUSIC BUSINESS, AND BOBO CAN KINDA SORTA PLAY THE DRUMS….WE CAN BE THE NEW JACKSON 5!

Samuel L Jackson: Shit yeah, Negro! That's all you had to say!