MOVIES RANKED 27-20

27. LAND OF THE DEAD – I really don’t think I saw a terrible movie all year. I saw many that I was disappointed in but none that I absolutely regretted seeing. I probably would have regretted it if I’d actually paid money to see LotD in the theater, you see I watched this one on a long flight to Australia. This film wasn’t great cinema but it passed the time well. For all the talk of a new “OF THE DEAD” movie I walked away from this one entertained but very little else. SCORE: D

Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. HULK NO LIKE STIFF FOLKS THAT EAT FOLKS. WHY EAT FOLKS JUST SMASH FOLKS. HULK DO LIKE WHEN STIFF FOLKS SMASH STUFF CAUSE THEY NOT AS GOOD AT SMASHIN’ STUFF AS HULK IS AT SMASHIN’ STUFF. HULK DID LIKE PRETTY SPARKLIES IN MOVIE.

BoBo’s Review: Bobo not sure if he likes dis mobie. Lots of mens get eated or shooted up in dis mobie but dis mobie had no boobies. Boobies need to be in scary mobies. Bobo like boobies.


26. KINGDOM OF HEAVEN – I had high hopes for this movie and it had flashes of cool but it could not overcome that craptastic acting of Orlando Bloom. Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, and even Ed Norton try their damndest but an overlong movie and Orlando Bloom’s whining made this a D+ movie at best. SCORE: D+

Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. MOVIE MAKE HULK’S BUTT HURT FROM MAKING HULK SIT ON HULK’S BUTT FOR SO LONG. IF HULK COULD SEE IN DARK HULK WOULD HAVE LEFT MOVIE. MOVIE DID HAVE LOTS OF SMASHIN’ IN END SO HULK OKAY WITH HURT BUTT IN THE END.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo did not like dis mobie. Bobo wanted to see Maximan from Gladiator mobie since mobie made by Gladiator mobie man. Orlando Bloom is too purty for Bobo. Maximan should cut off Orlando Bloom purty head for making such a bad mobie. Bobo pee on purty man’s face.


25. THE ISLAND – This is another movie that I watched on a long plane ride that was entertaining enough but was an overall disappointment. Scarlet Johansen is hot and Ewan McGregor is competent but the chemistry just isn’t there. Also it just seems like this concept has been done to death. C-


Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. WHEN HULK HEAR SCARLET IN MOVIE. HULK COULD NOT WAIT TO SEE SNAKE EYES OR STORM SHADOW IN MOVIE. HULK NO SEE EITHER ONE. HULK AT LEAST WANT TO SEE QUICK KICK BUT NO QUICK KICK FOR HULK. HULK SO MAD AT MOVIE HULK CRY FOR 2 DAYS AND NO SMASHIN’ FOR HULK. HULK DID SMASH GARBAGE TRUCK AND THAT MAKE HULK FEEL BETTER BUT NOT BY MUCH.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo no like dis mobie. Bobo was confused mens want to go to Island then mens not want to go to island. Bobo say make up mens minds cause you make Bobo’s brain hurt. Scarlet girl is purty make Bobo have stiff banana.

24. THE PRODUCERS – Another movie and another disappointment. I’ve never seen the original 1968 film or watched the musical so I really don’t have anything to compare this film to. The songs were catchy and most of the jokes were funny. I just never really cared for the two main characters and that was a big dent in my enjoyment. Matthew Broderick was the biggest letdown for me. If the original was anything like this movie I really do not care to see it. C-

Hulk Review: HULK LIKE MOVIE. HULK LIKE SINGIN’ FOLKS CAUSE HULK LIKE TO SING. YOU WANT TO HEAR HULK SING? HULK LOVE TO SING WITH BIRDIES IN SKY. HULK LIKE SINGING SO MUCH HE ONLY SMASH A LITTLE TODAY SINCE HULK WOULD RATHER SING THAN SMASH.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo not see dis mobie cause Bobo was busy lovin’ Bobo’s girlfriend. Bobo’s girlfriend likes the way Bobo uses Bobo’s hot dog on Bobo’s girlfriend’s taco. Taco Dogs for dinner tonite.

23. HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY – This is a movie I wanted to love. I liked the books and was really rooting for this one. It ended up being an almost for me. I liked all the main characters and even loved a few but it just didn’t come together for me. It was like it got the body and most of the innards but no heart. C

Hulk Review: HULK NO SEE MOVIE. HULK THUNKED THIS MOVIE WAS A BOOK AND HULK NO LIKE TO READ. HULK GOT NO TIME FOR WORDS. WORDS MAKE HULK HEAD HURT.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo no like dis mobie. Too much talkin’ and no mens die and no boobies. Bobo had to drink lots of banana tequila to make Bobo forget dis mobie.

22. LORDS OF DOGTOWN – This is a movie I really dug and if I hadn’t already seen the great documentary DOGTOWN AND Z-BOYS I would have probably ranked this movie higher. It was a fun flick with a great soundtrack. If you’ve already seen the wonderful documentary you really do not have any need to see this movie other than to see Heath Ledger’s really decent performance. C

Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. HULK MAD AT MOVIE FOR MAKING HULK WANT TO SKATEBOARD. HULK ONLY HURT HULK BUTT WHEN HULK TRIES TO BE LIKE SKATEBOARD FOLKS.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo no like dis mobie. Too many menboys with no shirts on. If more mengirls with no shirts on Bobo would like mobie.

21. CONSTANTINE – This is a movie that I was pleasantly surprised with. I went into this movie with zero expectations and was given a fun, well written, decent fxed movie that made me want to read the comic books. Keanu is decent and Rachel Weiz is hot. C+

Hulk Review: HULK NO LIKE MOVIE. HULK GET SCARED OF MONSTER MADE OF FLIES. HULK HATE FLIES. HULK ALSO NOW SCARED TO TAKE BATH SINCE WATER MAKE YOU GO TO HELL. MAKE HULK WANT TO RUN OUT OF THEATER BUT HULK JUST HIDE BEHIND BUCKET OF POPCORN.

Bobo’s review: Bobo no like dis mobie. Why Matrixman fight demons and monsters instead of mens in sunglasses. Matrixman did no kungfuing or flying in this mobie either. Bobo would rather eat his own poo-poo than see this mobie again. Bobo like taste of Bobo’s poo-poo.

20. STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH – I think when I first reviewed this movie I think I was kinder to it than it deserves. I even compared it to the mighty ESB. This movie doesn’t belong in the same sentence as ESB. Its not terrible by any means but after multiple viewings its problems are very apparent. Hayden Christian is just plain awful. He’s better here than he is in the last Star Wars but that ain’t saying much. Portman is terrible as well. Yea the wookies are cool, the battles are nifty, Palpatine kicks ass but it’s pretty wrapping paper on a bad Christmas gift. Its mostly a bad movie no matter how you slice it. I only give it a decent score due to my love of the series and the fact that its better than the last two prequels. C+

Hulk Review: HULK LIKE THIS MOVIE. IT MAKES LOTS OF SMASHIN’ SOUNDS AND ‘SPLOSIONS. YODA ALSO HULK’S FAVORITE THING EVER. YODA SO SMALL AND CUTE AND GREEN. HULK ALSO NO LIKE ANAKIN NO MORE. HE MEAN TO CUTIE PIE QUENIE LADY.

Bobo’s Review: Bobo like dis mobie cause it got da baddest blackest mofo in da galaxy init. Nuff said.